4 Fun Everyday Activities (That Will Secretly Destroy You)









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As the name implies, most cases occur when people squeeze limes to make margaritas while outside, although lemons, grapefruits, celery, and parsley, among other fruits and vegetables, can also cause the reaction. But let’s be real, you’re not tending a garden or snacking on celery while out for a run; you’re getting drunk in your backyard. So keep an eye out for stray lime squirts, and if any juice gets on you, wash the affected area with soap. And then make another damn margarita, because you’re not about to let some burns and long-term cosmetic damage get in the way of your hard-earned buzz.

Related: 19 Everyday Things You Didn’t Know Will Kill You Dead

1„Avocado Hand“ Can Require Surgery To Fix





Great, so now drinking is ruined too. You might as well start eating healthy like some kind of asshole, because at this point your skin’s going to need all the help it can get. So for dinner you decide to chop up some avocados, because you’ve heard they’re good for you, and put them in whatever avocados go in, other than guac for your 17-cheese-and-12-meat nachos. You grab an avocado and a knife, and oh my god it’s right back to the hospital with you.

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„Avocado hand“ sounds like something baby boomers made up to decry millennials, but it’s a real term — albeit a casual medical euphemism for „slicing your fucking hand wide open.“ Out of unfamiliarity with the fruit and its innards, people are chopping avocados and either hitting the hard pit inside or successfully rendering the fruit atwain, only to tempt fate by hacking at the pit with a knife to remove it. Either way, the knife will bounce off the pit, or the pit will rotate and slide, and the knife will suddenly be lodged in your palm.

The cuts can often be so nasty that intricate surgery is needed to repair nerve and tendon damage. In extreme cases, the injured hand never fully recovers its functionality. Oh, and the wounds come with both a nasty risk of infection and a nasty risk of having to put up with endless jokes from your friends and family.

Natashaphoto/Adobe StockA sharp knife, a soft palm, and a fruit whose hardness runs from „unset gelatin“ to ‚collapsed star“ … what could possibly happen?





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The epidemic is somewhat seasonal (a lot more avocados are sold to a lot more people who don’t know what they’re doing around Cinco de Mayo than, say, Christmas), but one doctor claimed to see a case of avocado hand every week, and another said he gets four a week. And that’s not even counting the patients who said they got in a bar fight because they were too embarrassed to admit that they’d hurt themselves trying to cut open a fruit. So when you decide to forgo a mortgage payment and buy a bushel of avocados, either carefully cut around the pit or just remove it with a damn spoon.

Mark is on Twitter and wrote a book that won’t hurt you.

You could still tint your windows, if you really wanted.

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For more, check out 6 Things You Do Every Day That Have Horrifying Consequences:


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